To Be or Not to Be…Sittin Pretty

Leave it to the pretty girl to say she’d rather be smart…

There’s a good chance that a lot of people are going to read this and assume outrage because that’s how we’re taught to react.  And that’s ok.  I’m not writing this to convince you to think like me, I’m writing to let you know that being superficial isn’t quite so superficial.

I think the first reason it’s better to be pretty than smart is obvious.  People can’t tell if you’re smart right away, but they can certainly see if you’re pretty.  And that makes a lot of difference.

Pretty people allow you to let your guard down and therefore make it easy for you to spend your money.  Think about it.  When is the last time you saw an ugly, “smart” person selling you anything besides a PC?  And that doesn’t just apply to advertising.  Think about the last time you checked into a hotel, or walked into a restaurant.  The first person you see usually belongs in one of two categories.  They’re either elderly or pretty.  You see an elderly person and you think, “I’ve got to be nice, that could be my grandfather/mother.”  You see a pretty person and you say, “DAMN, I hope everyone else who works here looks like that!”  When’s the last time you saw an ugly bartender?  It pays to be pretty, literally.

People tend to care about pretty people more than the “uglies”.  Have you even seen a missing person sign with a beautiful woman on it? Your heart aches.  You stand at the display case in Wal-Mart and send a up a short prayer asking for Linda’s safe return.  Then you look over and see Zxantavionia and think, “I need to remember to get Doritios…”  Here’s something else for you to ponder.  Did you really care when Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character died in The Dark Knight?  I didn’t think so.

Basically, life is just easier for the pretty people.  And being smart isn’t all it’s chalked up to be.  I’m sure it’s hard to always know the answer to someone’s question.  Or to have to remember all those words.  Thinking hurts!

In closing, I’d like to leave you with this thought
…I may not know much, but at least I know I’m pretty.

** A contribution by Loraine Joi Morris**

The Art of the Hustle

Good day, America. I am writing today with anxiousness and urgency. Like most second semester seniors in this country, and perhaps abroad, I have become a hunter…a predator, if you will. Well, what is my prey, you may ask. I bet you can guess. That’s right America, I’m hunting for a job.

Okay, maybe “job” is the wrong word. America, I’m searching for an opportunity. I am fully aware that my major (broadcast journalism) does not bring the immediate financial stability that one might hope for. No, I won’t be taking any expensive vacations. Yes, I will be working ridiculous hours. I know, and I understand those realities. What I don’t understand is the lack of hustle I see among my counterparts.

If I hear one more person say “I don’t want to work there because…” or even worse, “Oh, they don’t pay enough…,” I’m going to scream. My goodness young people. Are you serious? I know what this is…this is the American tradition of instant gratification coming back to kick us in the behind. Apparently my generation wasn’t in attendance the day they taught the lesson on “paying your dues” in the class of life.

I think some people have been given everything in their lives, and perhaps this is the first time they have actually had to step out of their comfort zone and do something for themselves. I’ll be honest; I have lived a charmed life. When I need money, my parents give it to me. In fact, I have been rolling around the streets of Atlanta in my very own shiny, black automobile since I was 17 years old. However, here is the difference: my parents have always impressed upon me that those things are a privilege. I say again, I am not entitled to any of those things.

Now, please don’t think I am setting myself up as a shining example of what people should strive to be. Not at all. I am just wondering where the hunger went. What happened to the young person who is eager to get his or her foot in the door? All I see now is a group of people who sit back with a smug sense of entitlement and let the opportunities come to them. Let me know how that works out for you.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep hustling. Maybe I should subscribe to the Gwendolyn Byrd school of thought… “well thank goodness everybody doesn’t want to be someone because that would make it harder for the rest of us.”

The Namesake — A Must See

Today, I am writing to share my excitement for a little known movie that has captured my heart. The Namesake, directed by Mira Nair, gives a rare and endearing look into the Indian culture.

The movie begins in India where Ashoke Ganguli is involved in a fatal train accident. After his recovery, Ashoke takes his young wife, Ashima, to New York to begin a new life in America. Some time later, the couple has their first child, whom they name after Ashoke’s favorite Russian author, Gogol. The name has more significance; however, I don’t want to give the movie away.

Kal Penn stars as Gogol Ganguli. Born in New York, Gogol grows up as a typical American, and is incessantly teased for his unconventional name. The film follows him through college, relationships and marriage and documents his struggles to accept his Indian roots and his name. You may recognize Penn from his memorable roles in the Harold and Kumar comedies. I was surprised to see him starring in a drama, but he did an excellent job. He plays Gogol from adolescence to adulthood with an ease and honesty that is a joy to watch.

Again, I don’t want to give the movie away, but I assure you, The Namesake is a jewel. You will laugh and you will definitely cry, but at the end, I think you will be just as satisfied as I was. Now playing in regular rotation on HBO, this little known movie is worth two hours of your time. It will soon become a member of my (quite extensive) DVD collection.

So, if it’s a rainy day or you just have some time on your hands, grab some microwave popcorn and your drink of choice, and give The Namesake a try. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last

** This post is a contribution from my friend Loraine Joi Morris***

With Single’s Awareness day right around the corner, I decided to try my hand at relationship expert….This is my list of the different type of men we women run into in our life times. Men, feel free to read this also. You may find yourself in one of these categories……

1. THE OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE/THE HOPELESS ROMANTIC
This is the guy who gives you all the attention you could ever imagine. Seriously. Generally he pops up after a relationship has soured and he’s emotionally there for you in ways that you hadn’t ever seen, so you entertain it. And then 2-14 days later, you realize that this man is actually insane. How? BECAUSE HE’S NEVER MET YOU!!!!! This is a guy you’ve met in one of two ways, either some internet site, i.e Facebook, Myspace, Twitter… or through a friend of a friend’s friend….The two of you really don’t have any real face-time accumulated, and yet he’s talking about what day he’s going to propose to you and what name you’re going to give your 17 children.
There are two reasons his “crazy” isn’t obvious….1. You’re in a weakened emotional state. If you weren’t, you probably would not have talked to him in the first place, and 2. He slowly creeps it in a conversation. It will usually start off something like this, “So, why are you single?…..You just need someone like me in your life, I would never treat you like that (insert polite responsive giggle). Yea, so ummmm, listen, WILL YOU HAVE MY BABIES? WILL YOU? WILL YOU?….” Ok, so maybe it’s not that dramitic….at first, but give it that full fourteen days and the thought of him will have you singing Bug-A-Boo in the middle of your psychology class.
Unfortunately, there is no way to completely avoid this guy, because like I said, his crazy doesn’t show up right away. But if you do find yourself entangled in his crazy web, just end it quick, kinda like a band-aid. The longer you take, the more time he’ll have to search housing markets and figure out that he wants to build a home with you in Salmon, Montana.

2. THE PROFESSIONAL A.K.A. THE UPGRADE
THIS GUY!!!! He’s either a business man, an athlete, or a musician (guard your panties!). Regardless of his profession, he is a huge step up from your last man. Being able to say that you’re in a relationship with him garners oohs and aahs from your girlfriends…..And he is fully aware of it.
I’m not going to say that this guy is a total ass, because he may not be. He may legitimately be looking to share his life with you, and if that is the case, congratulations. But he may be the kind of guy that KNOWS that you are the lucky one because you are allowed to share the same air as him. RUN AWAY don’t walk. Either way, if you are in a relationship with a man who is a professional anything, remember that it took a lot of work and self-sacrifice to attain his level of success, and it’s going to take at least that much work to maintain it. So if you are the kind of woman who needs a lot of attention, this guy is not for you.

3. THE PLAYER
The label says it all…..This is the guy who has made it his life’s work to be with as many women as possible. This is the guy you think of whenever “Again” or “Another Again” by John Legend plays. We all know this guy, you can’t turn on BET without seeing this theme expressed on every show. So how do we fall into this trap? Well one reason is obvious, this guy is good! He says all the right things, he has all the right moves, and he’s pretty awesome PHENOMENAL in bed. The second reason is a little less obvious. Ladies, we tend to be over confident. We think that we are the only one who is going to be able to change his playing ways. Not likely.
You know the warning signs. If you choose to ignore them, you don’t have anyone to blame your yourself

4. THE NICE GUY
Poor guy! He takes you out, pays for dinner, treats you with the upmost respect and what does your ungrateful ass do? You call him boring! To quote A Pimp Named Slickback, “If you want amusement, take your ass to the movies!” It is not this guy’s responsibility to entertain you. Geez Louise!
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…..Here’s the thing Nice Guy, you really are boring. Take a tip out of the players handbook (JUST THIS ONE!!!!) Say what a woman wants to hear. The reason why The Player is so successful is because he plays to a woman’s ego. He makes her feel like she’s the only woman in the world, and not only that, she’s the most beautiful, the sexiest, the…you get the idea. Pair this “ego-priming” with your genuine niceness and you’ll be unstoppable.

5. THE FRIEND
What’s the difference between The Nice Guy and The Friend? One has a chance. Sorry Friend. I’m not going to say it’s never going to happen, I’m just not waiting for the wedding invites either. The brain is the culprit in this scenario. Think about it (LOL, I amuse myself). You love being around this person, they make you laugh, they know all your secrets, they know your family, they’re comfortable with the real you. AND they’re of the opposite sex! It’s perfect!
Usher had “You Make Me Wanna”, Boyz II Men had “I Finally Know”, and Friend, you probably know the other 152 songs because you have them all saved to one playlist, aptly titled Destiny, on your iPod. Those are the songs you listen to in order to finally tell this girl exactly how you feel about her. I’m not going to tell you not to go through with it. But I will say this, if you’re willing to tell her how you actually feel, be willing to loose the friendship. This can only play out one of two ways, either she’s ecstatic because she feels the exact same way, or she feels too uncomfortable to continue your near-perfect friendship. Weigh the pros and the cons and proceed with caution.

6. THE DISTANT LOVER
It’s actually kinda painful for me to explain this one. But here I go. This is the guy that you give WAAAAAY too much leeway. He’s the guy that you make excuses for. He’s the one that is inattentive, that gives you the shitty birthday presents, that doesn’t know how to act around your friends, that is in no way affectionate, and who generally gives you the impression that he’s rather be doing anything else if it could take him away from spending time with you.
So why do you put up with him? “Because you guys don’t know him like I know him!” Now, I am in no way suggesting that you should give your friends that much control over your relationships. But your true friends aren’t going to be vindictive when they’re inquiring about your relationship with this guy. Another reason why it’s so hard to let this guy go is because they really don’t know him the way you know him. They don’t see the nice things he does or the way he makes you laugh (occasionally for both). This is the question you have to ask yourself, Are you lowering your standards so that he can meet them? If so, you know what to do. And for goodness sakes, please be on the look out for The OCD while your heart is recuperating!

7. THE DRAMA KING
Do I really even have to explain? This is the guy who treats every argument like it’s his chance to clinch the Oscar nomination. Save yourself the headache. Once you realize this is who you’re dating, get away before he has a chance to break into his soliloquy.

8. THE “WHO-ARE-YOU-AGAIN?”
This is the guy who’s name you can never quite remember, Kevin….Keith….oh that’s right Doug! He’s probably been all of your classes since freshman year, because he’s in your major. You guys are in all of the same clubs. And yet you can’t remember where you’ve seen him before when he says hi. Poor guy. If you find out that this guy has a crush on you, you have to proceed with caution. You don’t want to be too nice because you don’t want to give him the wrong impression, but you don’t wanna be too mean, cuz no one wants their story told on Lifetime with Cicely Tyson playing their grandmother…..

9. THE “PERFECT” GUY
This is your guy! He doesn’t fit into any one particular group. He’s the one who has the right proportions of all of the desirable traits and treats you like a queen. Please, please, please don’t mess this up! If you ever catch yourself messing up, quickly apologize and promise to make it up to him later (wink wink). Don’t worry about how much money he makes, what he wears, or anything else superficial. This is the guy that women are lucky to come by once in a life time. Please don’t loose him to a woman who knows how to treat this guy.

–Loraine Joi Morris

Goodbye Blago

It’s official America. Disgraced and impeached Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich is out. The Illinois Senate voted unanimously to remove him from office earlier today.

Now, I believe a brief recap is in order. This saga first unfolded in December when Blagojevich was arrested on federal corruption charges. According to CNN.com, federal authorities alleged that the former governor was trying to sell or trade Barack Obama’s newly vacant Senate seat.

Is it funny? Yes. Is it legal? No. Sir, we know this is America…the land of free markets and capitalism, but what the former governor forgot is America is also a seat of democracy. In a nutshell, you can’t sell positions in government. I’m pretty sure his college professor covered that in Intro to Political Science, but as we all know, things don’t always sink in the first time you hear them. I bet that lesson has sunk in now.

Anywho, in addition to ousting Blagojevich, the Senate also voted unanimously to block him from holding any political office in the state ever again. Ouch. Way to add insult to injury Illinois Senate.

On the bright side, although his political career is over, Blagojevich may have a budding career in daytime television. If you watched TV at all this week, you could not help but catch him pleading his case on any and every television show in the continental United States. Unfortunately, he did not make quite as much effort at his impeachment trial. According to CNN.com, Blagojevich did not present any evidence in his defense and he did not call any witnesses. Instead, he showed up with the time tested excuse of saying he did “absolutely nothing wrong.” And maybe he didn’t. I haven’t heard the tapes. However, in my experience, simply saying you did nothing wrong is usually not the most convincing argument.

But hey, optimism is always the best policy. Don’t feel bad Blago. With this economy, you’re definitely not the only person being handed a pink slip and shoved out the door. See you on day time TV.

 

Dare to Dream

Good day everybody. I would like to kick off everyone’s weekend with a topic I think we all can relate to: courage. Courage comes in many forms both large and small and occasionally medium.

The soldier who walks into battle knowing that there is a chance he or she may not see another day is courageous. A person who has the fearlessness to jump out of a plane and rush toward the ground with the fervent hope that their parachute works has a form of courage (sprinkled with a dash of daredevil and a pinch of stupidity.) However, today I want to talk about a very specific brand of courage…the courage to follow your heart.

Now, you may be asking where I am going with this. Earlier today, I encountered a friend who expressed regret over not following her passion throughout her college career and uncertainty about pursuing it in the future. I shared with her that in my humble opinion, it’s never too late to change your mind and pursue your dreams. I want to tell my 2 or 3 readers the same thing. Please have the courage to follow your dreams. Now, I’m not exactly an idealist so I’ll give you some concrete reasons why you should. First, no one wants to wake up every morning at God knows what time of the morning to go work 8 hours or more at a job they hate only to be 2 years away from a heart attack and 5 years from the grave by retirement. Sound dramatic? Well maybe a little bit, but think about it. You are more likely to be happy and healthy doing something you enjoy. In addition, you will also excel in something you enjoy. If you really love what you are doing, you will take the time to improve your skills and hone your craft, which in most situations will result in smoother mobility through the ranks.

I really need you guys to hear me. There are things more important than money. No really…there are. I’m not saying sell all of your belongings and live below the poverty line, but I’m saying working an enjoyable job and living a comfortable, although maybe not lavish lifestyle, is not a bad thing. You might not make it to Cribs, but at least you will be happy. I guess it’s all about priorities. There was a time in my life where I seriously considered taking the $$ bait and burying myself behind a desk in the wide world of law. Yes, I would make plenty of moolah, but it only took one summer at a journalism internship for me to realize where I really belonged.

I realize some of you won’t listen. You will follow the dreams of your parents and family. You will take the bait of instant money and security. Think before you do it. If your dreams are really in law or medicine or any of those other lucrative fields then by all means, please pursue that. But that also extends to all of you artists, writers, journalists, actors, etc. who want to live your dreams but are afraid of the initial struggle. Follow your heart. You will never regret it.

Passing Along the Message: Mockery

Good afternoon, America. On this historic day, you know as I do that there is only one topic to talk about: the inauguration of Barack Obama.

I do not have the pleasure of being there in person; however, as I watch the events of the day, I can truly say it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It is Dr. King’s dream personified.

All that being said, I have to address another topic. The other day, I received an email from a friend that raised some interesting points. The subject of the email was “mockery.” Written by the national president of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., Cynthia M.A. Butler-McIntyre, the email addressed the slew of humorous emails flitting around the nation concerning the obvious “cultural shift” that is taking place in the White House.

We have all heard them…slogans such as “paint the White House black,” etc. I will even admit that I have said some of them. In fact, some of them have been statuses on my facebook page. No matter…the email implored the black community to be careful not to make a mockery of this great achievement.

 You don’t know what I mean? Are you sure? You haven’t seen those oh so hilarious texts and emails about free BBQ on the White House lawn and what not? I have. I laughed, but she’s right. As Butler-McIntyre said, our veins run thick with venomous hatred for pundits like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly for their rude and condescending remarks, but then we turn around and say the same things. I’ll take a page from Butler-McIntyre again… “It is the same song, just a different band.”

So it is my duty today to pass along the message. The next time you get one of those “pimped out White House,” “red Kool-aid,” or fried chicken messages, stop and think. This achievement is very real and very important for the black community and America as a whole. Be careful not to make a mockery of him. Let’s give our 44^th president the support that he deserves. 

Notorious B.I.G. Mania

America, I really must ask you this question: was the coming and passing of Notorious B.I.G. akin to the 2nd coming of Jesus?

Have I got your attention now? Great. Now that you are staring at the computer screen with full anticipation, I’ll ask another question.

Why oh why hiphop fans do we treat Notorious B.I.G. like the messiah…scratch that…the savior of mankind?  I don’t get it.

Okay, he was a great rapper. Yes, he died tragically. Yes, it is a shame and quite strange that they couldn’t find his murderer(s) when he was killed so publicly. I don’t think you will find anybody who will disagree with the aforementioned facts; however, come on.  He was not Jesus…let’s stop acting like he was.

All that being said, and at the risk of sounding like a total hypocrite, like many of his worshippers, I’ll be in the theater armed with my overpriced popcorn and soda watching the movie. No, it’s not because I light a candle and say a prayer for Biggie every night. I’m just curious. I honestly want to see how well his life is portrayed. And more importantly, I want to see if Derek Luke can pull off Diddy. My vote is no, but I won’t make my final judgment until I see it.

Meanwhile, if you see it before me, please let me know what you think.

A New Sex Scandal for the Sports World

Good day America. I hope you are staying warm. As a Georgia native, personally, I am freezing, but I’m alive, and that’s half the battle (or so they say). At any rate, on to today’s topic.

I know I’m late, but I would like to take a moment to comment on the Eddy Curry sex scandal that has unfolded over the last week. For those of you who don’t know, I’ll recap. Eddy Curry is a chronically injured center for the New York Knicks, but more importantly, as of Monday, he is facing a sexual harassment suit.

Now I know what you’re thinking: what girl did he get too close to? Oh no America. Not girl. Curry is facing a lawsuit from his former driver, David Kuchinsky, who claims the ball player solicited gay sex from him.

I first learned about the suit from an article sent to me by a friend. The link is below.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/01122009/news/regionalnews/knicks_sex_scandal_shock_149861.htm

According to the article, after being turned down, Curry chose to hurl a barrage of racial and ethnic slurs at his heterosexual, Jewish driver including but not limited to “cracker,” “white slave,” and my personal favorite, “grandmaster of the KKK.” Now, last time I checked, the KKK hated Jews, but hey, who has time to do their research when their chafing from rejection?

I am not an expert on sex scandals or basketball, but I just had to laugh. I might have rolled on the floor a little bit, but we’ll keep that a secret.

I have no idea if Kuchinsky’s allegations are true, and given his checkered personal history, he may just be another con artist looking for a pay out, but they sure are funny. If you don’t catch the full breadth of the humor in this situation, you should definitely read the article. You’ll see what I mean.

Stay warm!

The End of an Era

This morning as I prepared to begin my day, I unwittingly stumbled upon the end of an era. I witnessed (via CNN of course) the last press conference of George W. Bush. Being the ardent Bush adversary that I am, I allowed myself to do a little happy dance before actually turning up my TV to see what he had to say.

For the most part, I was unimpressed, but a few aspects of the press conference did strike me. First, Bush admitted to some of his mistakes, among many. Mentioned in that rather large number were the now infamous banner draped across an aircraft carrier that read “Mission Accomplished,” the treatment of prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison and, arguably the biggest oops moment of his administration, failing to find weapons of mass destruction…yea. I won’t even go there.

Although I somewhat appreciated Bush’s half hearted attempt at admitting his mistakes, what I did not appreciate was his horrendous attempt to dodge the Katrina issue…again. Besides the recent economic crisis, in my humble opinion, Katrina may be the worst mistake of his entire 8 year tenure, yet he continues to act as if he did not let a major American city drown and then leave its citizens destitute and crime riddled, while he continued to drain funds for a completely unnecessary and ill advised war in the Middle East. Am I wrong people? Please let me know.

Oh, and let’s not forget his liberal use of the word “misunderestimated.” Mr. Bush…that is not a word in English or any other language. Thanks.

Bush also defended his legacy and contended that the way people view America around the world is still generally positive. Well America, I don’t travel outside the 50 states much, so I wouldn’t dare venture to guess what world opinion is. However, it doesn’t seem good. I can read, his academic record would suggest that he can read too…I’m just saying, from what I have read, popular opinion doesn’t seem awesome, but hey, who am I to judge?

In closing, goodbye George Bush. Have a pleasant retirement on your ranch in Texa. You and your excuses will be very happy there.

Oh and good luck Obama…you’re gonna need it.